Life is Precious
06/10/13

When I was a little girl I can remember taking road trips with my parents. Back then, there wasn't a law a law mandating that everyone "buckle up" when riding in a car. While it has become second nature to climb in a car and reach for the seatbelt one February afternoon has made me appreciate those that fought for and passed those seatbelt laws all those years ago.

As most people know, my husband, Bob Phillips, travels thousands of miles every year for his television show TCR.  In February, he was in Bastrop County headed to a story when he approached a construction zone.  Two of the guys that travel with him were in another car in front of him and they went through the blind intersection. As Bob inched into the same intersection, his car was t-boned by a truck going 70+ mph. Bob's guys saw the whole thing in their rear view mirror. They ran back to Bob's car. They told me afterwards the impact was so severe they couldn't imagine how anyone could survive.

Both Bob and the driver of the other car were able to walk away from the accident that day thanks in part to safer laws and safer cars. However, the repercussions of the accident still linger. A few days after the accident, Bob noticed some numbness in a couple of his fingers on his left hand. Not long after, he began complaining of heaviness in his forearm which eventually spread to his shoulder. Soon the numbness and pain spread all the way down his left leg making it difficult for him to walk. At times it looked as though he was dragging his left leg. After a lot of convincing on my part, Bob finally agreed to go to the doctor who immediately sent him to a neurosurgeon who explained the immediate need for surgery.  Diagnosis? Bob had herniated discs pressing on his spinal cord and if he didn't have surgery he could end up paralyzed...or worse.

On May 7th, otherwise known as the longest day of my life, Bob went into surgery. It took four plus hours but he  made it and it all went well!  The  doctor told me how lucky Bob was and what a mangled mess his neck was! He fused C3 all the way to T1 (for those of you who know nothing about necks that's like his whole neck)! Bob has 12 titanium screws and a couple of rods now in his neck and is still wearing a cervical collar. If you see him around town he will be more than happy to tell you ALL about it!

The recovery process itself has been slow at best. The good news is Bob's walking almost immediately returned to normal. His leg function and strength in his legs are like they were before the accident. But not long after getting home from the hospital Bob lost most of the use of his left arm. The doctors have referred to it as a type of palsy that is pretty typical after neck surgery. They do expect him to regain full function with physical therapy.

The past weeks have been difficult..a roller coaster of emotions (for both of us).  As I watch Bob, I know in time, he will be stronger.  But it also reminds me of those days of when I was younger and thinking I was invincible...something I see in so many young kids today.

Bob and I have both emerged from this experience with a new conviction about how precious life is and we both want to spread that to everyone else. He has been told by more than one medical professional how lucky he is to even be here and he says he won't waste that gift.

We both hope you won't either.

Finding Work That Gives You Joy
04/08/13

As I walked up to my gate at Houston Hobby Airport Saturday, I noticed a crowd of people clapping and laughing.  There were also lots of flashes from what appeared to be coming from multiple cameras. Thoughts immediately ran through my head " perhaps there was going to be someone of notoriety on board the short flight from Houston to Dallas.  A singer or actor?  To further my suspicions, as the passengers were waiting to board the plane a steady stream of people were allowed to board before anyone else and again more flashes accompanied. It wasn't until all the passengers had taken their seats that the planes captain started talking on the microphone at the front of the cabin (the one the flight attendants usually use) that we were finally let in on the secret.

I want to thank all the folks in Group A for letting my family pre-board before they did, the captain said. Usually employees and their families are the last to board a plane but this is a special day for me.

You could have heard a pin drop on the plane, a place that's usually plenty noisy in the getting settled moments before take off. We were about to find out what was going on.

You see, today is my last day as a professional pilot for Southwest Airlines, he said as his voice cracked. After 31 years, you and I are about to take my last flight, and my wife and kids and grandkids are all here to make that trip into retirement with me.

The captain then went on to make a few jokes but the love he had for his job was apparent. I had a lump in my throat and those sitting next to me seemed to be speechless. There was applause by the passengers and even a few tears, then we took off and the captains kids and grandkids passed out the peanuts. It was a great moment, or I guess I should say a great hour.

And it started me thinking about what he had said.Thirty-one years on the same job. How often do you hear that these days? It used to be, or so Ive heard, that a person would get a job and stick with it most of his life. He might start out as an apprentice and learn from the master, or get a job as a gopher and work his way up, but time was that most people stuck with a job and even a company most of their lives. That doesn't seem to happen that much anymore. Younger people, especially, seem to have a case of wanderlust when it comes to working. If they stay in the same field,chances are they will hop around between companies in that field. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just saying its the way it is.

Then, as soon as I had settled into that's the way it is,I realized I know quite a few people that have stuck with the same job most of their lives. Maybe I'm way off base with my original assumptions on this subject. The very newscast I anchor everyday here at KFDM comes to you from The Beaulieu Broadcast Center, named for the man that hired me at Channel 6, a man whose name became a household word in Southeast Texas, Larry Beaulieu. Larry spent 37 years working right here in this building.

Then there's Greg Bostwick, our Chief Meteorologist, and hes been telling you if its going to rain or not for going on 34 years. And just the other day, our Chief Engineer, Richard Kihn, retired from KFDM after working here for 43 years. Clearly, these folks are not into job hopping! As I look around, there are several other faces that I see every day here at the television station that have been here longer than my ten years with Channel6. 

There is something about being able to count on the same people in the same jobs day in and day out. Fact is, most of us don't particularly like change. We generally want whatever has been to always be, and it is sometimes upsetting to us when they're not.

As I thought about that Southwest Airlines pilot on his last day and about what he later said to his passengers about his being the best job anyone could ever have, I found myself hoping that my own kids can find something in life that makes them that happy. And whether they stick with one thing or one company or move around from job to job, my biggest hope is that they find something that excites them and gives them joy because life is just too short to hate going to work.

Overly Connected or Disconnected?
03/04/13

Answer honestly...when was the last time you shared a meal,whether it be with friends or family, and one or more of you DID NOT have your head down looking at your cell phone? I'm betting you can't think of the last time! There was a time when conversation between people was valuable and cherished, but my observations are that those days are gone. We have really changed the art of communication, haven't we?  

Today, tech gadgets control our lives, and the younger the person, the greater the control. I can remember as a child my family would get in the car and take road trips.  My mother was an artist, so typically our  weekends consisted of traveling to art shows all over the state. My mom, dad, brother and I would pile into our blue Chevy Impala and hit the road. We would drive for hours on end. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of those car trips! You see, the four of us would actually talk. We talked about what was going on in our lives, my brother and I learned about our parents and we learned to listen to one another. We learned about the things we would see on those trips. There was no DVD player, but we didn't need it. These days, kids can't even make the trip from home to school or to the grocery store without watching a movie while Mom and/or Dad listen to music in the front. What kind of message are we sending to our kids? 

As our kids grow up and become teens, long gone are the days of talking face to face to one another. They live in a world of text alerts and vibrating cell phones. The home, that was once a place of refuge where families talked and built strong bonds, now seems to be a place where everyone is too busy to talk or listen. In addition, teens and even adults spend endless hours talking to strangers on the computer instead of building real relationships. People have figured out that in cyberspace, we are all on a level playing ground of sorts.  And with sites such as Facebook, people have grown accustomed to focusing almost exclusively on themselves. They post what makes them feel good, rarely thinking of the feelings of anyone else. Have we really become a world of not caring for our fellow man? 

The message, I think, is simple.  There are really few things that are so important we need to know immediately.  Make time for those you care aboutyour family and your friends.  Put down your phone and turn off your computer for a while and really get to know the person not just what someone may post or text. Listen to them while they talk and see the expressions on their face when you tell them how much you love them.  

If we all started doing this maybe it would catch onwhat do you think?

Visiting D.C.
01/22/13

When kids are little, we moms try to teach them everything we can about the world. We can tell them this and tell them that but, until they actually experience some things for themselves, they often are not true believers. 

That pot is hot! Don't touch it doesn't work nearly as well as the child actually touching the hot pot. Still, I think our goal is to try to prepare them for the world without our kids having to go through everything we had to go through. Sometimes that works, sometimes it does not. In the end, nothing substitutes for actual experience.

So, with teaching our children being the ultimate goal,about 16 teachers and parents set out on a trip to our nations capitol for the presidential inauguration along with 20 Southeast Texas students from several different schools. Most of us didn't get close enough to witness the inauguration itself, but that was never the goal. It was more about our kids learning how our democracy works. We did get to see three presidential motorcades.A taxi driver that has lived in D.C. his whole life told me he had never seen one...until the day we were in the back seat of his cab.

We took in a lot during our four and a half days in the capitol. The Washington Memorial, The Vietnam Wall, The Capitol and White House and more monuments than you can imagine. We toured the Air and Space Museum and The Natural History Museum and a great new experience dedicated to the history of American journalism called "Newseum". We heard stories from tour guides about why this is this way and that is that way.

I think one thing that stood out in most of our students minds was when four of them were selected to be part of a wreath laying ceremony at The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Keep in mind that these kids were born mostly mid-90s. They missed the first Gulf War entirely, don't really remember 9/11 and have never known war the way their parents and grandparents have known it. Even so, one would have to be totally out of touch to escape the site of thousands of tombstones lined up in perfect rows at Arlington Cemetery,and it doesn't take much to connect the dots on why these people are buried in this special place. So, the wreath laying ceremony was something that I believe touched most of the kids on our trip. It is something most of them won't forget.

Another great learning experience for the students was our visit to Mt. Vernon, the home of our first president, George Washington, and his wife, Martha. It was interesting to me to hear the kids compare the world then to the world they live in today. When you consider the fact that, for most kids today, hardship is defined by not having a cell phone, hearing the story of colonial soldiers fighting the British troops in a winter storm with no shoes and very little food can seem almost unreal. Again, its one of those things you can read in a book but it doesn't really hit home until you walk where Washington walked and hear the stories from the Mt. Vernon docents about life in the new America in the late 1770s.

Ive heard my whole life that you cant really know where you're going unless you have a good grasp of where you came from. I hope this trip gave these kids a better view of the road they are traveling.

We’re All Family
12/28/12

Hugh Beaumont and Barbara Billingsly, Hugh and June on Leave it to Beaver, were not married in real life " but they were on television. Neither were the people that played the husbands and wives on The Brady Bunch, The Cosby Show or Mad About You.  Each of these TV couples was cast in their roles because of the obvious rapport they had with one another. 

While television anchors are not cast and news anchors do not play the role of fictitious characters, it is true that anchor teams that lack a collective charisma are often doomed and don't last long together.

Bill Leger and I, judging from what our viewers have repeatedly told us for many years, came across on the evening news as old friends.That's because we were. And, like most old friends, we had our ups and downs " moments of celebration when one of us experienced something wonderful in life or when our news team had a particularly satisfying day at work " and moments when one of us had to scrape the other off the floor because things just weren't going right that day. We often disagreed, on-air and off, but always respected the others opinion. And we could each count on the other to set us straight when one of us was way off track.

In television news jargon, your co-anchor is often referred to as your TV husband or your TV wife. In that respect, Bill and I were an old married couple " even though pretty much everyone knows Bill and his real wife, Tecco, were partners in life for 33 years and my real husband, Bob, and I are often referred to in the community by singular name KelliBob.

So, whats it like losing my TV husband? Well, it hurts,but its nothing like what I know Bills family is feeling. I find myself thinking,this is a mistake, it cant be real. His quad mates, Executive Producer Scott Lawrence, Producer Marcus Powers and I, keep watching the back door at KFDM, expecting Bill to walk in and sit at his desk like he did so many times.

When I anchored the 6PM news on Christmas Eve, I wanted badly to hear Bill's stomach growl like it did almost every newscast, or for Bill to scribble notes to me while Greg was doing the weather. We even had an imaginary line on the anchor desk and, like a brother and sister in the backseat of mom and dads car, had rules about letting our scripts cross that line and get into the other persons space (I know he did this on purpose just to irritate me but I'd gladly let him do it today.) I even expected--and wanted--to feel his leg bouncing so hard it shook the anchor desk. But none of that happened.

What did happen is that, on a day when most of us had planned to be home celebrating the holidays with family, our KFDM family came together to celebrate the life of our friend and colleague, Bill Leger. We cried together. We told funny Bill stories like the time the cap on his tooth came loose and fell into the urinal in the KFDM men's room (guess who had to fish it out?). Like the times Bill would see a feral cat in the KFDM parking lot and tell everyone it was a Chupacabra. Like how analytical he was about the knot on his tie being just right. About the time that Bill, my husband, Bob,and I decided to go to the Port Arthur seawall at 1AM to watch Hurricane Ike come ashore, only to realize we were about to be swallowed by the rising gulf waters and scurried back to the newsroom like scared children ("Don't ever do that again," News Director David Lowell said.)

When Uncle Larry Beaulieu retired a little over a year ago, it was heartbreaking. Larry was like the head of our TV family, the one we counted on to always make things right. But Ive learned that I can still call,text or email Uncle Larry and that hes still there when I need him. I can still meet Larry and Nancy for lunch from time to time. We don't get to see him everyday, but we still get to see him.

This is different. I will never again see my friend, my colleague, my TV husband Bill Leger--and my heart is broken.

But, like the Cleavers, the Huxtables and all those other TV families, we at KFDM are family, too. A real family. And at times like this, families stick together.

Goodbye, my friend. We'll carry on.

Lives Forever Changed
12/18/12

I suspect I'll take some flack from my colleagues for this, but I find myself a little embarrassed to be a member of the media today.

In the wake of the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, I'm left shaking my head in response to the insensitivities I've witnessed during coverage of the event. Twenty children,all six and seven years old, and six adults were shot down by a mad man just as the school day began. The coward that did this then killed himself. He reportedly had killed his mother while she slept before attacking the school.

This was an unthinkable, horrific event...one that will change lives and affect young, innocent minds forever. Lives that had barely begun were snuffed out in a matter of minutes. Naturally, each of us wants and needs to know what happened...and why.

But is it really necessary to know every graphic detail? Did reporters really need to interview young children as they fled from the school? Did we need to ask them to re-live what they saw, or ask parents of slain children: "How does this make you feel?"

Too much, too soon? I think so.

Don't get me wrong, we have a job to do and I take that job very seriously, but I believe we can still exercise some civility in its performance.

Not long ago, a viewer tagged me in a post on Facebook regarding comments he made about about a word I used in a news story I read on air. He called it the "D word" and, at first, I wasn't quite sure what he was talking about. We exchanged private messages and I learned that he objected to me saying that the victim of an accident was decapitated. I explained that I was taught to " tell what you know" and let the viewers sort it out. He said I would think differently about it if I ever saw someone who had been decapitated. We agreed to disagree.

I've been thinking about that Facebook exchange since then and, in light of the recent events in Connecticut and the insensitivities exhibited by some members of the media I think I have a better understanding of that viewer's objections.

One comment during the Sandy Hook School shooting coverage that got my attention was made by the coroner. He and his staff conducted autopsies on the twenty children and after giving the most important details regarding how they died he said, "Some things no one needs to know."

Some things no one needs to know. Like exactly how many bullets penetrated their little bodies. Like what they looked like when they were found. Like just how gruesome this gruesome scene was. Like how badly the parents of the shooting victims are hurting. Like whether or not the victim of an accident was decapitated.

In a perfect world, the people that commit these horrible crimes would never have their names mentioned in the coverage of the event. Ina perfect world, we would never see their faces in the aftermath. They would be referred to in anonymous terms. But that's not going to happen because you, the viewer, have to be in on the deal. You have to agree that you don't want to hear their names and see their faces. Let's be honest, that's never going to happen.

What can be done is this: you can turn the junk off when it gets out of hand, when coverage becomes an insensitive intrusion into innocent people's lives. Let us know you object.

Bad May Not Be As Bad As We Think
07/16/12

Ask just about any journalist what she likes most about her job and you will likely hear the line every day is different somewhere in the top five reasons for being a reporter.

Its true. Everyday I wake up not knowing what the day will hold once I get to the television station. Oh, we have an idea about stories that are planned, things like trials and school board meetings and political events. What we cant predict are the spot news events, the things that just happen. No one knew there would be a shooting at the Jefferson County Courthouse or that someone would lose his life in a wreck on highway 69 or that an 18-wheeler accident would shut down Interstate 10 for hours, leaving motorists stranded in their cars until it could be cleared. 

Now, it might sound like we news folks thrive on tragedy but nothing could be farther from the truth. What gets us going is getting the story out, making sure everyone that wants to know or needs to know what is going on has the details and that they are accurate. We love playing at least some part in helping to bring order to the chaos. Its our job and we take that job seriously. 

Unfortunately, many of the details you need to know " or want to know " involve some form of misfortune. I think that just may be a good thing. You see, news is supposed to be what is new and different, the things that are not the ordinary day-to-day activity in our lives. We dont report on houses that dont catch fire or cars that successfully make it from home to the grocery store or people that get up, go to work and come home again without incident. You wont often see a news story about a pet that is loved by its family from birth and never is abused, only the contrary, the story about animals that endure cruelty. And while I often hear people ask the question why dont you report on the good stuff that happens? (and, yes, we occasionally do that), I think were all much better off as long as we keep reporting on the bad stuff. Why? Because that means that most of what happens in our day-to-day lives IS the good stuff, that the bad stuff is out of the ordinary " that were reporting on it because its new and different. 

When the day comes that you see stories on KFDM like a guy drove all the way to his job today without getting hurt, I think were in a lot of trouble. For me, I like waking up not knowing about the bad things that could happen that day, then telling you about them if and when they do " so we can all go on living in our mostly good world.

Strength in numbers
09/26/12

I am constantly amazed by the way people in Southeast Texas pull 

together during a crisis...or to support a cause. I don't know why I'm 

not used to this by now. I've been here most of my adult life. But this 

past weekend Bob and I were emcees at an event that, once again, left 

me asking the question: why? Not why do they do it but why are people 

here so giving of their time, money and energy?

A little background - I thought it was that way everywhere until I 

would mention to friends from Dallas or Houston or (place name of some 

big city here) what kind of turnout we had a particular event or how 

much money was raised to support some cause - and they would be amazed! 

"You had THAT MANY PEOPLE show up???" or "You raised HOW MUCH MONEY???" 

are phrases I seem to hear a lot.

So, during the MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) Walkathon in 

Lumberton this past weekend, I was once again surprised by the turnout, 

AND the results. While chatting with a local police officer about the 

event, she told me it was the biggest of its kind in the state! The 

idea is simple enough: people that want to support MADD's cause (don't 

we all?) agree to walk a 5K (3.1 miles) course. They have solicited 

donations from folks that pay them to walk and then the walkers give 

that money to MADD. One walking team raised more than $13,000! And 

several raised other huge amounts! And this scenario is repeated just 

about every weekend all year long for various causes all over our area.

Many of the people that take part in this event have lost loved ones to 

accidents caused by someone driving drunk. You can see it in their 

faces when they passionately tell you about their mother, father, 

daughter, son, sister, brother, friend, you name it that was killed in 

a drunk driving accident. You would probably expect the one most 

directly affected by the loved one's death to participate in events 

like this, but lots of the people that attended didn't even know any of 

the people that have lost their lives - they were just there to support 

the cause. And that's what constantly amazes me.

After the event, Bob and I were talking about it while driving to 

another event in the Austin area and he, who was born and raised in a 

big city, put it like this: "In Dallas (or Houston or place name of 

some big city here), people can be almost anonymous if they want to. 

And even if they don't want to, most people are. It's not uncommon for 

people to live next to each other for years and not even know each 

other's names. You go to the grocery store and you probably will not 

see someone you know. Imagine that. I've never been to the grocery 

store in Beaumont that I didn't see someone I know - usually lots of 

someones!"

And that struck me as kind of sad. Millions of people living together 

in some big metropolitan area and not knowing each other. And, I 

suppose, many not caring about anyone else either.

Aren't you glad you live here where we DO run into friends and 

neighbors at the grocery store or the car wash or anywhere else we 

choose to go? And where we really do care about what happens to our 

friends and neighbors? I know I am.

My baby you'll be
09/04/12

When I was pregnant with my first child, my OBGYN pointed out that children don't come with a 'How To manual.'  Her point, I think, was that I would have to learn as you go, that I would make mistakes along the way, that it was normal for new mothers to sometimes feel lost as they discover how to be moms.  

Truth is, there ARE lots of How To books when it comes to raising kids.  Even though children do not come with instructions and a parts list (some assembly required), there are lots of experts standing by to tell you what to do.  What I HAVEN'T been able to find is a good book to get me through one of the hardest things I've ever done, at least where my kids are concerned.

Last week I moved my first born out of the house we both call home and off to college to start a life on his own.  For an entire year we have been buying things he would need and stockpiling them in his room. But, for some reason, as organized as I am, I couldn't bring myself to start packing everything until the night before he was set to move. Thoughts kept flooding my mind, "had I taught him everything he needed to know?" So as we would pack I would launch into one life lesson story after the other. It was as if Charlie could sense what I was feeling and sometimes he would sit there and listen intently while other times he would just burst out laughing. That certainly broke the tension we were both feeling!

Once everything was packed I retreated to the kitchen to try to choke back my tears. A short while later, I walked into my bedroom only to find my first born lying across my bed with big tears filling his eyes.

"Mom, its my last night at home. Things will be different," Charlie said.

"Charlie, things may be different BUT this will ALWAYS be your home," I told him as I gave him a hug. 

For more than an hour we talked about all the great friends he had made in Beaumont, but then we talked about all the new adventures and discoveries he was about to encounter, that everything he has done for the past 18 years had led him to this point in his life. I told him his moving away certainly comes with mixed emotions but regardless of where he may live he will always be my son and I will always be his mom and that will never change. The love and support is there for life.

Its been more than a week now since Charlie moved away. He's adjusting well to his new life and I am concentrating on the two years I have with my youngest, Dylan, before I have to do it all again. And I find myself flashing back to a book I used to read to Charlie when he was a little boy, 'I Love You Forever' by Robert Munsch.

A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:                   

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

My baby you'll be.

The boy grew.  That teenager grew.  He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown up man.  He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her sons house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed.  If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.  And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

My baby you'll be.

We mothers know. They may grow up and move away, but our babies will always be our babies. Forever and ever.